Sunday, December 31, 2006

Benifits of Singlewide Trailers Wen The Housing Bubble Pops

I been a readin bout this housing bubble but nobody is a talkin bout singlewide trailers, just big fancy houses.

They say, lots of peoples who bought big spensive houses is havin money trubles just payin the mortgage but folks who owns singlewides dont have that problem. I bought my 1975 Bubbas Dream singlewide used fer 1200 dollars cash an never worried bout payin the mortgage payment since.

Doan need central air, just got some used winder units. Aint got them fancy bells an wistles like them big houses tho. Aint got no theatre room, just got my TV at the foot of the couch. Aint got no garbage disposal, just push the left overs thu a hole in the floor and the pigs under the trailer take care of it. But since I put vinal skirtin around the bottom of my trailer, I cant do that no mo. Kinda miss that convenience tho, but the vinal skirtin sure is purty.

Had some truble wif the tax bill and the lectic bill tho. Even there , an ole single wide will help you out.

This piture shows how you can scrap out yore aluminun sidin wen you needs cash. Saw this down near Flemington wer a soul brotha used this economic strategy to help out in hard times.

You cant do that wif no fancy brick house!

The First Church of The John Deere 650

I wuz talkin to cousin Lonnie bout how bad property taxes is these days and he tole me that churches doan pay no property taxes. That gots me a thinkin bout startin a church on my property to help wif the tax bill.

We are now takin members fer the First Church of the John Deere 650, The Honorable Buck Nekid presidin!

We meets every Sunday at noon in the Good Ole Boy Trailer at Beaulaland, Wacahoota, Florida. Good Gospel singin and inspirational sermons weekly. Red Dog Beer served as sacraments.

First surmons, "Goin Thru Life Without a Root Rake", and "Wen Yore Hydralic Hoses Burst an You Gotta Shut Her Down." and " Runnin at 1500 RPMs"

Yall Come by an see us.

The Good Ole Boy Trailer

Here a more finished picture of the Good Ole Boy Trailer. But it still aint completely finished yet.

It has a new limerock circular driveway by the pond in the front yard which it makes it easy to turn around wen you are pullin an equipment trailer. It is handily hilly which helps you roll and jump start yer truck wen the battry is dead. It also has a bay winder made famous by the Fung Shoe piture.

The inside will be real nice too but we aint got no pitures of it yet.

Redneck Time Shares Available

I've been watchin the price of land go crazy round these parts an I've been thinkin bout how to make money off it and keep my land.

I wuz gonna open a Redneck Bed N Breakfast but cousin Lonnie tole me if ye serve food it makes things real complicated wif the government so I figure that I wud sell Redneck Time Shares instead. I gots three trailers in the deep woods near Wacahoota that I am gonna sell time shares fer or rent by the week to them European tourists who wants an authentic Redneck cultural experience.

Theys all a work in progress now but the flagship trailer is bout done. Me an Mabel puts two screen porches on it this summer and we beez a workin on the inside now. We jus needs to find a couple more junk cars to put on blocks fer the front yard to finish the project

They is all in high hammock deep woods wif lots of palms an big magnolias wif lots of privacy. Gots a fishin hole in the front yard of two of them trailers too. Mabel says we should have a different theme fer each trailer like in Disneyland.

I figure one traier fer nature lovers. It gots lots of nature on the inside of the trailer as well as on the outside. It is a rite purty place wif a winding creek in the front yard and palms and purty plants everywhere.

Make the next one fer good ole boys and them tourists who wants to be a good ole boy fer a week. It will be decorated in the Redneck Chic style inside wif a good sound system and select country music recordins. If ye tire of the airconditionin, just kick back on the front screen porch and listen to the skeeters a buzin outside the screen, watch fer revenuers comming down the driveway, or check out the attractions in nearby Wacahoota, Lochloosa, or Micanopy.

Cousin Lonnie can cater a genuwine Redneck Party too. Lots of good food and beer but all them invites will be a firin blanks in ther guns fer safety reasons .

Hope to have it ready by this spring.

The Avon Pig Farm

One of my neighbors got this good ID bout makin mo money wif his pig farm. His wife is an Avon Lady and they puts some Avon on his pigs befo the livestock auction and he gets a better price fer his pigs!

Windom wuz allways a smarts feller. He gradeated frum Wacahoota U, Magnum Cum Lordie, an all that book lernin is helpin him get rich! He wont tell me just wut Avon products he uses or how much more he makes on his pig sales.

He says that it is all "proprieatarry" which means I aint supposed to aske no more questions.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Fung Shoe and the Single wide trailer

I've been a readin a lot bout this Fung Shoe stuff. They say it is a special way of arrangin yore livin space in best harmony wif the celestial universe or somethin like that. I seen a lot of writins on Fung Shoe fer big fancy houses but I aint never seen nothin bout Feng Shoe in the single wide trailer so I figured I wud write bout it myself.

This pitcher shows a vintage 1968 Homelite chain saw wif a 20 inch bar in the middle of 6 Red Dog Beer bottles in the bay winder of my 1975 Bubbas Dream singlewide trailer.!Lookie how the setting sun frum the west shines on them beer bottles, wile the bar of the chain saw points to the east!

That is Fung Shoe if I ever seen it!

And this whole shootin match is rite at the exact tip of the bay winder so it now I gots a Fung Shoe Triangle in my singlewide!!!!

This gives my trailer Triple Fung Shoe Paramid Power!

Cousin Lonnie tole me that this Fung Shoe power will protect my singlewide frum tornadoes and sinkholes but not the repo man.

Bout Them 3 Fellers who died on that mountain

I wuz jus thinkin bout them three fellers who died on that mountain out west.

Me an Mabel did not make it to Oregon but I figure it must be mighty strange like the rest of the West. So it doan come as no surprise that somethin like this happened.

We seen how them roads stopped at the top of a cliff in Utah at them "overlook" places so we aint that surprised ifin the roads in Oregon stopped on one side of a mountain and started up on the other side.

It seems these fellers in Oregon had kinfolk on the other side of that mountain and they wanted to meet the next day.

You wudda thunk that they wud just drive around the mountain to meet them on the other side but they had to walk up to the tip top of that mountain and back down the other side to get thar! !

Lordy! Either there wernt no roads around that mountain or them fellers didnt have all ther oars in the water!

Theys been a lot on TV bout this story but no one ever talks bout this big question bout why them fellers had to cross over the tip top of that mountain to get to the other side!

The West is strange, Mighty strange!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Home to Wacahoota

We left the Sand Canyon and drove back to Lost Wages an caught our plane back to Florida. I shore did enjoy our trip out west but it was good to get back home to Wacahoota.

I thought that I had seen it all but you never really know what is out there till you cross the Suwannee.

The Sand Canyon

After seein how they clear cut all the timber off that lake in Arizona we found this place here that they calls the Sand Canyon where erosion had gotten totally outta control and dug this big gully.

If ye ask me, the folks in Arizona needs to get some enviromental awareness going and quit messin up their land.

But they wuz proud of this big canyon like the erosion wernt even a problem! They shoud plant sum Cudzu on the sides to help stabelize it. I tole them that but they just looked at me like I was wierd or somethin. Might strange.

Logged Over Lake

After we left the Injuns at Monumental Valley, we drove down into Arizona and by this big lake were there was plenty of water in the lake but nothin growin on the shore! I reckon the loggers done clear cut all the trees off the shore cause there wernt none a growing a tall on it. Mighty strange!

Monumental Valley

After we left Arches National Park we drove down to Monumental Valley wer the injuns live. It wuz really dry down there to0. Or else the injuns has clear cut all the timber off the land, I donno.

The roads were a mite rough too. Kept expectin to see the Marborough Man on one of them rocks but never did.

Lions a Runnin Loose

They had some escaped lions a runnin loose in the park too. But instead of bringing them in, the park peoples jus put up signs warnin folks that they was a running loose! Mighty Strange!

King Kong's Dong

We drove over to Arches National Park expectin to find a McDonalds. We drove all over that place fer hours and never could find one! That is down right misleadin to call a place Arches National Park and not have a McDonalds in it if you ask me. We told that to a ranger feller and he jus laughed at us!

The West aint wut it seems it outta be.

But we did see lots of strange rocks tho and every rock had a name. They had all these little signs by the road a tellin you the names of all them rocks.

They all had names cept this rock. Wonder why?

Me an Mabel thought bout it fer a long time and figured that this rock didnt remind folks of anything so they couldnt figure out wut to name it. Or maybe folks just didnt see it and wuz lookin past it at the mountains over yonder. Might as well call it King Kong's Dong for all I know.

Hey thats it! King Kong's Dong! We gonna mail the park peoples a letter a suggestin this name. If yall have any good IDs fer a name fer this rock just send em in and we will give them to the Arches National Park peoples.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Tunnel to Nowhere

Here is another place wer the county road department dug a tunnel thru a mountain but never put a road in it! You can say wut you want about Florida but the they knows how to build a road down there. Course they aint got no mountains or cliffs there but it doan seem too hard to figure out that a roads gotta be built from one end of the road to the other end! Oh well, thats good enuf fer government work I guess.

Lordy! I aint never seen anythin beat the Utah Road Department!

How Ya Gonna Get There?

On this overlook you cud see the road down in the valley but you couldnt drive there. Mighty strange.

Crazy Roads

I liked Utah but the roads wuz frustratin. You would be driving along and the road would end smack dab at the top of a cliff. There wud be a sign that says "overlook" an folks wud beez just standing there and millin around wonderin wer the road went.

These folks was a lookin down at the Colorado River a wondering how they wuz gonna get across it. I reckon they stopped the road here cause the river floods so bad. You can see all that drift wood in the pitcure left on this overlook after the last flood!

Aint no way you cud build a bridge that cud stand a flood that bad!

Nice Motel

This wuz our favorite motel in Utah. Folks were right hospitible and they had free towing service to pick up straglers in the desert. Dang gas pump wuz broke down tho so we missed out on the cheap gas.


Utah wuz my favorite state out west. Folks there wuz rite friendly and lots of unusual stuff to see.

But they wuz a havin a bad drought there like in Deaf Valley. The drout is so bad in Utah that they had to put up signs along the hiway warning folks about dust storms! Now I thought I seen bad drouts in Florida before like in 54 wen the Okefenokee dried up, but I aint never seen the beat of the drout out West!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Big Teats National Park

We drove over to Wyomin to the Big Teats National Park.

Yep, I see why the French trappers named them big mountains the tetons. Saw us lots of critters, purty mountains, and and injun tepee but no injun. Wuz gonna go up to Jellystone Park and see the boilin water an Yogi Bear but the weather man said snow wuz a commin down so we left real quick and headed south to Utah.


Idaho wuz a nice place too. But Mabel didnt like sayin the word "Idaho".

I tole her that she wernt the ho, and dont pay no never mind to who beez de ho.

She kept a sayin "Who de ho?", "You de ho?" No, "Idaho"

Poor girl. Liked to not got over it!

We liked Idaho a lot tho. Lots of nice peoples, big taters, and purty mountains


We never did make it to Lake Taco. The car broke down along the Alabama line so we figured we would skip it. When it wuz fixed we drove across Nevada to Idaho.

Nevada wuz a rite nice state. They had a highway that went across it with out stoppin at one red light.

But you gots to read the fine print there on all the prices. You think you gots a good deal at a truck stop fer sumthin and the price aint really that cheap. You gots to wait on a rebate to get the cheap price. Plus lots of folks was a sittin at these things they call slut machines and puttin money in em all day long. Mighty strange.


Mabel wanted to go see the Gulf so we drove over to this place called Frisco on the Alabama coast somewhere near Mobile I reckon. I'd been warned that folks wuz mighty strange in Frisco so we didnt go into town there but stayed over on the other end of the bridge.

The Gulf was rite purty at Frisco but a feller wud hafta to be a mountain goat to get down to the beach!

That wuz the last straw! It wuz one thing to hafta lug yore cooler cross the dunes to the beach in Florida but this Alabama wierdness wuz a gettin too much fer me so I tole Mabel that since she was so disappointed in Silicon Valley, I would take her to the Big Teats National Park in Wyoming an we would stop in Lake Taco in Nevada on the way.

So we left right then fer Lake Taco.

Napa Valley

We went to Napa Valley figurin that finding a Napa Auto Parts store there would be a cinch. Couldnt find none. This place aint wut I exspected either!

Lots of rich winos out there tho.

All them Napa Vally peoples was rite friendly and nice but drinkin wine wuz real importiant to them. And the food was right strange too. They call their resturants "Bistros". We went lookin fer grits and gravy in sum Bistros but none of them had it. An breakfast cost us 25 bucks!

But everythin was decked out real nice with purty flowers an stuff. We stayed in a real nice place wif decks and Buddas an a hot tub and a gong.

Waterfall National park.

We left the Big Tree and drove over to the Waterfalls National Park wer the Alabamians worship this big holy waterfall. It wuz a rite nice waterfall. Aint never seen nothing to beat it back in Florida. But we could not get up next to it cause of all the trafic frum the worshipers.

So we jus hung out in this big pasture and took sum pitures.

We left the Waterfall Park and drove over to Silicon Valley to get some silicon inhancements fer Mabels figure. Looked all around but couldnt find no silicon inhancements in Silicon Valley!

Dont that beat all! This Alabama aint wut I reckoned it wud be.

I then figured I'd drive over to Napa Valley and get me sum Napa Auto Parts since I wuz needin a new hose clamp fer the car.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Big Tree National Park

We drove that purty little rental car out of the Alabama Hills to Big Tree National Park.

Lordamercy! I seen why lumber is so expensive these days! They had all them big trees jus a standin there and nobody wud cut em fer the lumber cause the enviromentalist peoples wouldnt let em! A feller could build a mess of houses frum just one of them trees! No wunder a 8 ft two by four is over two dollars today!

An every time I'd bring this up them peoples out thar wud look at me like I wuz crazy or somethin! Alabama shore is a mighty strange place!

The Alabama Hills

Howdy Yall,

I jus gots to tell yall about me an Mabel"s trip out West to see the Alabama Hills. Cousin Lonnie told me that I outta go out West someday. And since I aint never been west of the Suwannee, or aint never been to Alabama,I figured that we got to go out West and see the Alabama Hills.

Lonnie gots me an Mabel some airplane tickets to a big gambling place out West called Lost Wages that I think is somewhere near Boloxi.

We rented us a real nice car in Lost Wages that you didnt need to shift gears to drive ,or need a handle to roll the winderes up, wif lots of computer lookin lights in it, and set off fer the Alabama Hills.

We stopped on the way in a place called Deaf Valley were it wuz mighty hot and dry. Looks like they wuz a having a bad drought there. Got to the Alabama Hills later that day and it wasnt wut I expected! I didnt believe this cud be the Alabama Hills at furst. So I drove smack dab into the middle of em and de road ended and it had to be the Alabama Hills.

Who wudda thought that Alabama had hills like this!

The West aint wut I spected it to be!