Sunday, December 31, 2006

Redneck Time Shares Available

I've been watchin the price of land go crazy round these parts an I've been thinkin bout how to make money off it and keep my land.

I wuz gonna open a Redneck Bed N Breakfast but cousin Lonnie tole me if ye serve food it makes things real complicated wif the government so I figure that I wud sell Redneck Time Shares instead. I gots three trailers in the deep woods near Wacahoota that I am gonna sell time shares fer or rent by the week to them European tourists who wants an authentic Redneck cultural experience.

Theys all a work in progress now but the flagship trailer is bout done. Me an Mabel puts two screen porches on it this summer and we beez a workin on the inside now. We jus needs to find a couple more junk cars to put on blocks fer the front yard to finish the project

They is all in high hammock deep woods wif lots of palms an big magnolias wif lots of privacy. Gots a fishin hole in the front yard of two of them trailers too. Mabel says we should have a different theme fer each trailer like in Disneyland.

I figure one traier fer nature lovers. It gots lots of nature on the inside of the trailer as well as on the outside. It is a rite purty place wif a winding creek in the front yard and palms and purty plants everywhere.

Make the next one fer good ole boys and them tourists who wants to be a good ole boy fer a week. It will be decorated in the Redneck Chic style inside wif a good sound system and select country music recordins. If ye tire of the airconditionin, just kick back on the front screen porch and listen to the skeeters a buzin outside the screen, watch fer revenuers comming down the driveway, or check out the attractions in nearby Wacahoota, Lochloosa, or Micanopy.

Cousin Lonnie can cater a genuwine Redneck Party too. Lots of good food and beer but all them invites will be a firin blanks in ther guns fer safety reasons .

Hope to have it ready by this spring.


Anonymous said...

There's a Cafe Risque in Micanopy with hot Gator coed strippers. Perfect!

Buck Nekid said...

Yep, But it cost 7 bucks to get in the door!

I seen a want add fer parkin lot attendant at the Cafe Risky and went there to fill out the application. They let me inside fer free and gave me the application papers and a pen.

It took me a full 4 hours to fill out the papers! Kept gettin distracted fer sum reason!

Lots of purty girls there but the music wuz terrible! No Porter Wagoner or George Jones, just some loud stuff that hurt my ears.

Good thing I wuz applyin fer an outside job!