Buck and Mabel's Big Adventure

Chasin them paper stocks

2009-12-04T17:10:00.000-08:00

Howdy Yall,

I aint doing much bloggin fer a wile cause I been a chasin them paper stocks.

I usta be in the livestocks business but I got tired of mendin fence in the hot sun and pullin calves at midnite an swattin skeeters so I figured I wud try my hand at chasin paper stocks.

It is a much better deal.

Jus sit at yore computer in the airconditin an figur wut paper stocks to buy. An wen them stocks go up in price you sell and keep the difference!

But it aint as easy as it sounds. It aint hard work like puttin in a new fence line in hard clay in July, but it is hard in other ways.

Sometimes them stocks dont go up, but go down ,an you lose money. Sometimes you cant sleep at nite and watch them cable stock shows from China jus to see wut their stocks is doin. Some times you watch this crazy feller named Kramer throw stuffed animals at the TV an talk his talk bout stocks.

But you learns new stuff about longs, shorts, an dillutions so you can talk trash at the next family reunion.

Lots of it is common sense.

Dont give your money to no one named Madeoff cause his fambly name tells you that his kin made off with the money before.

Wen a debt crisis happen in a country called Daubi, dont sell, but do buy more.

Little things like that.

More tips later.

A schisim in the First Church of the John Deere 650!

2007-03-04T18:27:00.000-08:00

Weez been a havin troubled times at the First Church of the John Deere 650. The congregation is full of deep thinkers and sometimes folks gets riled up over them deep philosophical questions and we cant agree.

Now we all agree on the Gospel, the Holy Ghost, and Revelations. We can settle our diferences on Steering Clutches, Torque Converters, Root Rakes, Roll Over Protection Structures, and Final Drives, but the Counter rotation issue is tore us apart.

The John Deere aint got no Counterrotation. You steer by lockin one track. With the other track movin it turns the dozer. The Case 850K LGP gots counter rotation. When you turn hard, one track turns one way and the other track turns another.

I wont wade through the pros and cons of Counter rotation cept say that we now got two congregations a meetin at the trailer. The First Church of the John Deere 650 which meets there in the morning and the The First Church of the Case 850K LGP that meets there in the afternoon. The Honorable Buck Nekid presides at both services.

Gettin yore truck ready fer summer

2007-03-02T05:42:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year. The dogwoods and the azeleas is a bloomin, and the temp is gettin into the 80s an I heered a skeeter the other day so you now winter is bout over.

Its time to gets yore truck ready fer summer.

Furst. Take the duct tape off the dash vents. They stopped the cold air frum comming thru the dash in the winter time but now that aint no problem. Then puts the battery powered fan on yore dashboard.

It sore is nice wen spring comes and the bitter cold winter is gone!

Plannin fer the future wif yore nonferrous IRA

2007-02-06T04:43:00.000-08:00

Folks, its time to talk serious.

What are you doin to plan fer yore retirement?

I have been building this account fer my retirement fer years. It is a nonferrous scrap metal IRA. Everythin is aluminun, copper, brass or stainless steel. It wont rust so you dont need a shed to store it in. You can pile it up in the yard if'n the wife will let you-- and your kin wont steal it from you, but I gots a place in the deep woods were I store mine.

Lots of folks jus throws this scrap metal away. Wen I gets the chance I drive thru the neighborhoods in Gainesville on trash day and I usually find half a truck load set out fer the trash man before the day is done. Another good ID is to make friends wif the dump boss and sometimes he will let you pull out the good stuff frum the trash pile.

I used to bring it home and put it in my back yard but my Ex wouldnt have it, so now that I am single again, I gots this secret hidin place to store it wif no mean Exwife to mess up the project.

Now I gots a good truck and a good scrap babe, Mabel, to go junkin wif me. Aint nothing better than to leave Beaulaland wif yore truck empty on a clear country morning and come back thru the gate wif the truck full of old radiators, lawn chairs, outdoor grills, junk air conditioners and aluminun sidin wif country music on the radio and yore hound dog barkin and chasing the truck back to the trailer! I jus dont get any better than that folks!

You is makin money doin what you love wif who you love. And yer hound dog,and your truck loves you too.

Wen I am ready to cash it out, I will build a pole barn with a ceement floor to process this scrap. I will set up my chop saw and get out the torches and clean the steel outa the good metal, separate it and grade it, then haul it down to the recyclin place and get paid.

I gots several accounts and they all is worth more every year and some of it is valuable artwork that is worth more than the scrap! Them pictures above shows my winders account and my awnings account as well as the main account.

Is this a great country or what?

Redneck Yard Art

2007-01-31T01:32:00.000-08:00

Folks! I gots this valuable piece of Redneck Yard Art that I will sell to the highest bidder! It doan hafta all be in cash. I will take part in trade fer tractors, trucks, hound dogs, guns or power tools.

Cousin Lonnie says it is two of the legendary four sawhorses of The Apocalyse and only comes up fer sale every hundered years or so so this as a rare opportunity fer you art peoples to get this timeless masterpiece!

Here is the skinny on this here art work.

ArTist / Buck Nekid
Title : Sawhorses of the Apocalyse
Provinence: From the livin Estate of Buck Nekid
Style: Redneck Yard Art
Price: Biddin starts at five thousand dollars. Biddin stops July 4th.

Viewing, Artwork can be viewed at the Good Ole Boy Trailer at Beaulaland near Wacahoota, Florida. Jus go to Wacahoota an aske bout Buck an Mabels Place and they will tell you how to gets there.

THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!

2007-01-31T00:54:00.000-08:00

I wuz lookin fer some nice art to class up the Good Ole Boy Trailer at one of them high falootin art sites. I wuz lookin fer sum velvet paintins of Elvis, or Elvis at the Last Supper or meybe a paintin of them dogs playin poker. I expected to pay top doller fer them as you gots to pay fer quality. I had 50 dollars that I pulled out of my billfold sittin by the computer to buy this art.

An this is wut I found fer THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS!

Sum feller who thinks mighty high of hisself made this creation which looks like a broke gate hinge, hangin on a bolt, wif two rusted out eye bolts a hangin down on a wire an he is askin THIRTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS fer it!

Artist Name: Robert Carston Arneson
Category: Sculpture
Title: Earth Hangup
Signed: Unavailable
Size: 64"H x 7"W x 4"D
Medium: Ceramic
Material/Ground:
Style: Contemporary
Subject: Abstract/Modern
Created: Circa 1970
Price: $35,000
Ad Number: AAIG52457

Lordy! If this is worth that then I am richer than I ever knowed! If that is valuable art then I gots plenty of valuable art layin around the trailer that I will let go fer half that price!

Wait till I tell Cousin Lonnie bout this!

Finally got the dang computer a workin again!

2007-01-29T18:17:00.000-08:00

Had to call a geek frum the Geek Squad to fix it and waited over 2 weeks to gets a new hard drive for the dang thing!

WE ALL GONNA DIE!

2007-01-06T22:51:00.000-08:00

Cousin Lonnie tole me bout this giant statue of Earth that fell apart at sum college near Atlanta. I aint the type of feller to worry bout them cosmic thangs but this has got me a thinkin.

Sum skupter feller made this giant statue of Earth and it wuz supposed to show folks how fragile the earth is and the whole blame thing fell out apart on the furst day! You reckon somebody is tryin to tell us somethin?

I heered bout global warmin and that doan bother me none cept mess up my firewood sales in the winter. Hurricanes is a gettin worser, but they wuz allways bad. All them foreigners like Al Queda and Harry Kristna shuld be run outa town on a rail but it aint the end of the world. So wut is this omen perdictin?

Ever since they found that statue of Elvis on Mars a wile back, I've been spooked bout the future. Saw a show on TV bout sum feller named Armegeddon who's sposed to be the AnitChrist whos gonna cause volcanoes, earthquakes, and tidal waves, an a giant himmorroid frum outer space crashing into earth sometimes soon. (Probably jus after I pay off my mortgage)

So I didnt need to hear bout this spooky omen jus now!

I hate to tell ya this folks, but I've been thinkin bout it a lot.

WE ALL GONNA DIE!

Benifits of Singlewide Trailers Wen The Housing Bubble Pops

2006-12-31T06:33:00.000-08:00

I been a readin bout this housing bubble but nobody is a talkin bout singlewide trailers, just big fancy houses.

They say, lots of peoples who bought big spensive houses is havin money trubles just payin the mortgage but folks who owns singlewides dont have that problem. I bought my 1975 Bubbas Dream singlewide used fer 1200 dollars cash an never worried bout payin the mortgage payment since.

Doan need central air, just got some used winder units. Aint got them fancy bells an wistles like them big houses tho. Aint got no theatre room, just got my TV at the foot of the couch. Aint got no garbage disposal, just push the left overs thu a hole in the floor and the pigs under the trailer take care of it. But since I put vinal skirtin around the bottom of my trailer, I cant do that no mo. Kinda miss that convenience tho, but the vinal skirtin sure is purty.

Had some truble wif the tax bill and the lectic bill tho. Even there , an ole single wide will help you out.

This piture shows how you can scrap out yore aluminun sidin wen you needs cash. Saw this down near Flemington wer a soul brotha used this economic strategy to help out in hard times.

You cant do that wif no fancy brick house!

The First Church of The John Deere 650

2006-12-31T06:06:00.000-08:00

I wuz talkin to cousin Lonnie bout how bad property taxes is these days and he tole me that churches doan pay no property taxes. That gots me a thinkin bout startin a church on my property to help wif the tax bill.

We are now takin members fer the First Church of the John Deere 650, The Honorable Buck Nekid presidin!

We meets every Sunday at noon in the Good Ole Boy Trailer at Beaulaland, Wacahoota, Florida. Good Gospel singin and inspirational sermons weekly. Red Dog Beer served as sacraments.

First surmons, "Goin Thru Life Without a Root Rake", and "Wen Yore Hydralic Hoses Burst an You Gotta Shut Her Down." and " Runnin at 1500 RPMs"

Yall Come by an see us.

The Good Ole Boy Trailer

2006-12-31T05:36:00.000-08:00

Here a more finished picture of the Good Ole Boy Trailer. But it still aint completely finished yet.

It has a new limerock circular driveway by the pond in the front yard which it makes it easy to turn around wen you are pullin an equipment trailer. It is handily hilly which helps you roll and jump start yer truck wen the battry is dead. It also has a bay winder made famous by the Fung Shoe piture.

The inside will be real nice too but we aint got no pitures of it yet.

Redneck Time Shares Available

2006-12-31T04:52:00.000-08:00

I've been watchin the price of land go crazy round these parts an I've been thinkin bout how to make money off it and keep my land.

I wuz gonna open a Redneck Bed N Breakfast but cousin Lonnie tole me if ye serve food it makes things real complicated wif the government so I figure that I wud sell Redneck Time Shares instead. I gots three trailers in the deep woods near Wacahoota that I am gonna sell time shares fer or rent by the week to them European tourists who wants an authentic Redneck cultural experience.

Theys all a work in progress now but the flagship trailer is bout done. Me an Mabel puts two screen porches on it this summer and we beez a workin on the inside now. We jus needs to find a couple more junk cars to put on blocks fer the front yard to finish the project

They is all in high hammock deep woods wif lots of palms an big magnolias wif lots of privacy. Gots a fishin hole in the front yard of two of them trailers too. Mabel says we should have a different theme fer each trailer like in Disneyland.

I figure one traier fer nature lovers. It gots lots of nature on the inside of the trailer as well as on the outside. It is a rite purty place wif a winding creek in the front yard and palms and purty plants everywhere.

Make the next one fer good ole boys and them tourists who wants to be a good ole boy fer a week. It will be decorated in the Redneck Chic style inside wif a good sound system and select country music recordins. If ye tire of the airconditionin, just kick back on the front screen porch and listen to the skeeters a buzin outside the screen, watch fer revenuers comming down the driveway, or check out the attractions in nearby Wacahoota, Lochloosa, or Micanopy.

Cousin Lonnie can cater a genuwine Redneck Party too. Lots of good food and beer but all them invites will be a firin blanks in ther guns fer safety reasons .

Hope to have it ready by this spring.

The Avon Pig Farm

2006-12-31T04:35:00.000-08:00

One of my neighbors got this good ID bout makin mo money wif his pig farm. His wife is an Avon Lady and they puts some Avon on his pigs befo the livestock auction and he gets a better price fer his pigs!

Windom wuz allways a smarts feller. He gradeated frum Wacahoota U, Magnum Cum Lordie, an all that book lernin is helpin him get rich! He wont tell me just wut Avon products he uses or how much more he makes on his pig sales.

He says that it is all "proprieatarry" which means I aint supposed to aske no more questions.

Fung Shoe and the Single wide trailer

2006-12-24T13:44:00.000-08:00

I've been a readin a lot bout this Fung Shoe stuff. They say it is a special way of arrangin yore livin space in best harmony wif the celestial universe or somethin like that. I seen a lot of writins on Fung Shoe fer big fancy houses but I aint never seen nothin bout Feng Shoe in the single wide trailer so I figured I wud write bout it myself.

This pitcher shows a vintage 1968 Homelite chain saw wif a 20 inch bar in the middle of 6 Red Dog Beer bottles in the bay winder of my 1975 Bubbas Dream singlewide trailer.!Lookie how the setting sun frum the west shines on them beer bottles, wile the bar of the chain saw points to the east!

That is Fung Shoe if I ever seen it!

And this whole shootin match is rite at the exact tip of the bay winder so it now I gots a Fung Shoe Triangle in my singlewide!!!!

This gives my trailer Triple Fung Shoe Paramid Power!

Cousin Lonnie tole me that this Fung Shoe power will protect my singlewide frum tornadoes and sinkholes but not the repo man.

Bout Them 3 Fellers who died on that mountain

2006-12-24T06:42:00.000-08:00

I wuz jus thinkin bout them three fellers who died on that mountain out west.

Me an Mabel did not make it to Oregon but I figure it must be mighty strange like the rest of the West. So it doan come as no surprise that somethin like this happened.

We seen how them roads stopped at the top of a cliff in Utah at them "overlook" places so we aint that surprised ifin the roads in Oregon stopped on one side of a mountain and started up on the other side.

It seems these fellers in Oregon had kinfolk on the other side of that mountain and they wanted to meet the next day.

You wudda thunk that they wud just drive around the mountain to meet them on the other side but they had to walk up to the tip top of that mountain and back down the other side to get thar! !

Lordy! Either there wernt no roads around that mountain or them fellers didnt have all ther oars in the water!

Theys been a lot on TV bout this story but no one ever talks bout this big question bout why them fellers had to cross over the tip top of that mountain to get to the other side!

The West is strange, Mighty strange!

Home to Wacahoota

2006-12-11T08:46:00.000-08:00

We left the Sand Canyon and drove back to Lost Wages an caught our plane back to Florida. I shore did enjoy our trip out west but it was good to get back home to Wacahoota.

I thought that I had seen it all but you never really know what is out there till you cross the Suwannee.

The Sand Canyon

2006-12-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

After seein how they clear cut all the timber off that lake in Arizona we found this place here that they calls the Sand Canyon where erosion had gotten totally outta control and dug this big gully.

If ye ask me, the folks in Arizona needs to get some enviromental awareness going and quit messin up their land.

But they wuz proud of this big canyon like the erosion wernt even a problem! They shoud plant sum Cudzu on the sides to help stabelize it. I tole them that but they just looked at me like I was wierd or somethin. Might strange.

Logged Over Lake

2006-12-11T08:24:00.000-08:00

After we left the Injuns at Monumental Valley, we drove down into Arizona and by this big lake were there was plenty of water in the lake but nothin growin on the shore! I reckon the loggers done clear cut all the trees off the shore cause there wernt none a growing a tall on it. Mighty strange!

Monumental Valley

2006-12-11T08:08:00.000-08:00

After we left Arches National Park we drove down to Monumental Valley wer the injuns live. It wuz really dry down there to0. Or else the injuns has clear cut all the timber off the land, I donno.

The roads were a mite rough too. Kept expectin to see the Marborough Man on one of them rocks but never did.

Lions a Runnin Loose

2006-12-11T07:34:00.000-08:00

They had some escaped lions a runnin loose in the park too. But instead of bringing them in, the park peoples jus put up signs warnin folks that they was a running loose! Mighty Strange!

King Kong's Dong

2006-12-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

We drove over to Arches National Park expectin to find a McDonalds. We drove all over that place fer hours and never could find one! That is down right misleadin to call a place Arches National Park and not have a McDonalds in it if you ask me. We told that to a ranger feller and he jus laughed at us!

The West aint wut it seems it outta be.

But we did see lots of strange rocks tho and every rock had a name. They had all these little signs by the road a tellin you the names of all them rocks.

They all had names cept this rock. Wonder why?

Me an Mabel thought bout it fer a long time and figured that this rock didnt remind folks of anything so they couldnt figure out wut to name it. Or maybe folks just didnt see it and wuz lookin past it at the mountains over yonder. Might as well call it King Kong's Dong for all I know.

Hey thats it! King Kong's Dong! We gonna mail the park peoples a letter a suggestin this name. If yall have any good IDs fer a name fer this rock just send em in and we will give them to the Arches National Park peoples.

Tunnel to Nowhere

2006-12-10T22:56:00.000-08:00

Here is another place wer the county road department dug a tunnel thru a mountain but never put a road in it! You can say wut you want about Florida but the they knows how to build a road down there. Course they aint got no mountains or cliffs there but it doan seem too hard to figure out that a roads gotta be built from one end of the road to the other end! Oh well, thats good enuf fer government work I guess.

Lordy! I aint never seen anythin beat the Utah Road Department!

How Ya Gonna Get There?

2006-12-10T22:55:00.000-08:00

On this overlook you cud see the road down in the valley but you couldnt drive there. Mighty strange.

Crazy Roads

2006-12-10T22:33:00.000-08:00

I liked Utah but the roads wuz frustratin. You would be driving along and the road would end smack dab at the top of a cliff. There wud be a sign that says "overlook" an folks wud beez just standing there and millin around wonderin wer the road went.

These folks was a lookin down at the Colorado River a wondering how they wuz gonna get across it. I reckon they stopped the road here cause the river floods so bad. You can see all that drift wood in the pitcure left on this overlook after the last flood!

Aint no way you cud build a bridge that cud stand a flood that bad!

Nice Motel

2006-12-10T22:18:00.000-08:00

This wuz our favorite motel in Utah. Folks were right hospitible and they had free towing service to pick up straglers in the desert. Dang gas pump wuz broke down tho so we missed out on the cheap gas.

Utah

2006-12-10T22:08:00.000-08:00

Utah wuz my favorite state out west. Folks there wuz rite friendly and lots of unusual stuff to see.

But they wuz a havin a bad drought there like in Deaf Valley. The drout is so bad in Utah that they had to put up signs along the hiway warning folks about dust storms! Now I thought I seen bad drouts in Florida before like in 54 wen the Okefenokee dried up, but I aint never seen the beat of the drout out West!

Big Teats National Park

2006-11-27T07:25:00.000-08:00

We drove over to Wyomin to the Big Teats National Park.

Yep, I see why the French trappers named them big mountains the tetons. Saw us lots of critters, purty mountains, and and injun tepee but no injun. Wuz gonna go up to Jellystone Park and see the boilin water an Yogi Bear but the weather man said snow wuz a commin down so we left real quick and headed south to Utah.

Idaho

2006-11-27T07:16:00.000-08:00

Idaho wuz a nice place too. But Mabel didnt like sayin the word "Idaho".

I tole her that she wernt the ho, and dont pay no never mind to who beez de ho.

She kept a sayin "Who de ho?", "You de ho?" No, "Idaho"

Poor girl. Liked to not got over it!

We liked Idaho a lot tho. Lots of nice peoples, big taters, and purty mountains

Nevada

2006-11-27T07:07:00.000-08:00

We never did make it to Lake Taco. The car broke down along the Alabama line so we figured we would skip it. When it wuz fixed we drove across Nevada to Idaho.

Nevada wuz a rite nice state. They had a highway that went across it with out stoppin at one red light.

But you gots to read the fine print there on all the prices. You think you gots a good deal at a truck stop fer sumthin and the price aint really that cheap. You gots to wait on a rebate to get the cheap price. Plus lots of folks was a sittin at these things they call slut machines and puttin money in em all day long. Mighty strange.

Frisco

2006-11-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

Mabel wanted to go see the Gulf so we drove over to this place called Frisco on the Alabama coast somewhere near Mobile I reckon. I'd been warned that folks wuz mighty strange in Frisco so we didnt go into town there but stayed over on the other end of the bridge.

The Gulf was rite purty at Frisco but a feller wud hafta to be a mountain goat to get down to the beach!

That wuz the last straw! It wuz one thing to hafta lug yore cooler cross the dunes to the beach in Florida but this Alabama wierdness wuz a gettin too much fer me so I tole Mabel that since she was so disappointed in Silicon Valley, I would take her to the Big Teats National Park in Wyoming an we would stop in Lake Taco in Nevada on the way.

So we left right then fer Lake Taco.

Napa Valley

2006-11-27T06:40:00.000-08:00

We went to Napa Valley figurin that finding a Napa Auto Parts store there would be a cinch. Couldnt find none. This place aint wut I exspected either!

Lots of rich winos out there tho.

All them Napa Vally peoples was rite friendly and nice but drinkin wine wuz real importiant to them. And the food was right strange too. They call their resturants "Bistros". We went lookin fer grits and gravy in sum Bistros but none of them had it. An breakfast cost us 25 bucks!

But everythin was decked out real nice with purty flowers an stuff. We stayed in a real nice place wif decks and Buddas an a hot tub and a gong.

Waterfall National park.

2006-11-27T06:10:00.000-08:00

We left the Big Tree and drove over to the Waterfalls National Park wer the Alabamians worship this big holy waterfall. It wuz a rite nice waterfall. Aint never seen nothing to beat it back in Florida. But we could not get up next to it cause of all the trafic frum the worshipers.

So we jus hung out in this big pasture and took sum pitures.

We left the Waterfall Park and drove over to Silicon Valley to get some silicon inhancements fer Mabels figure. Looked all around but couldnt find no silicon inhancements in Silicon Valley!

Dont that beat all! This Alabama aint wut I reckoned it wud be.

I then figured I'd drive over to Napa Valley and get me sum Napa Auto Parts since I wuz needin a new hose clamp fer the car.

Big Tree National Park

2006-11-26T02:48:00.000-08:00

We drove that purty little rental car out of the Alabama Hills to Big Tree National Park.

Lordamercy! I seen why lumber is so expensive these days! They had all them big trees jus a standin there and nobody wud cut em fer the lumber cause the enviromentalist peoples wouldnt let em! A feller could build a mess of houses frum just one of them trees! No wunder a 8 ft two by four is over two dollars today!

An every time I'd bring this up them peoples out thar wud look at me like I wuz crazy or somethin! Alabama shore is a mighty strange place!

The Alabama Hills

2006-11-26T02:05:00.000-08:00

Howdy Yall,

I jus gots to tell yall about me an Mabel"s trip out West to see the Alabama Hills. Cousin Lonnie told me that I outta go out West someday. And since I aint never been west of the Suwannee, or aint never been to Alabama,I figured that we got to go out West and see the Alabama Hills.

Lonnie gots me an Mabel some airplane tickets to a big gambling place out West called Lost Wages that I think is somewhere near Boloxi.

We rented us a real nice car in Lost Wages that you didnt need to shift gears to drive ,or need a handle to roll the winderes up, wif lots of computer lookin lights in it, and set off fer the Alabama Hills.

We stopped on the way in a place called Deaf Valley were it wuz mighty hot and dry. Looks like they wuz a having a bad drought there. Got to the Alabama Hills later that day and it wasnt wut I expected! I didnt believe this cud be the Alabama Hills at furst. So I drove smack dab into the middle of em and de road ended and it had to be the Alabama Hills.

Who wudda thought that Alabama had hills like this!

The West aint wut I spected it to be!